**Written on 4-23-17, published 4-27-17 from my inpatient journal**
Sunday (NOT) Funday
Today went well, relative to the fact that I’m stuck in here with no access to the outside world. I am sick of eating and I am dreading everyone being on my case when I get out of here. I am going to be on a strict diet plan which will suck.
I coped well today despite being very stressed about life and finals. If I don’t get discharged in the morning [Monday], I’m going to be in a really rough place. I don’t want to freak out, but I will. I don’t want to be sedated and put in isolation, but I may need it.
There are places on my bedroom wall that are clearly painted over and I’m so curious as to what is underneath. I am painfully curious about all of this and about everyone’s story. I eavesdrop like crazy. The dramatic woman here (who almost got a code called on her for being violent yesterday) was somewhat more calm, so Inpatient of Our Lives was not a good soap opera today. Maybe tomorrow.
Almost passed out this morning (BP standing 80/50) and felt dizzy all day. Super anxious about 5am vitals in the morning, because that is two days in a row that this has happened. I am going to try not to take my new nighttime medicine (Vistaril) to see if that is what is causing it (aside from a possible refeeding syndrome). But the anxiety will keep me awake and the sleeping medicine won’t be there to help me sleep. Oh well…
Ok time to hide my tiny pencil contraband. Goodnight.